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BREAKING: Santa misplaces Naughty List, still wants cookies

Less than 24 hours to go until Santa needs to begin his deliveries and something important has been lost.

Santa’s Naughty List, a comprehensive docket of information he uses to deliver presents, can’t be found. Though he admitted this was not the first time something like this has happened, Old St. Nick was fast to pass the buck on who lost the list.

“Well you see it’s a bit of a complicated situation, I sent Rudolph to get get the Naughty and Nice list while I was loading up the sleigh and he somehow misplaced it.”

According to him, if the list isn’t located he has two options, neither of which are necessarily the “most ideal outcome.”

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“Option number one; everybody gets on the nice list, everyone near and far gets a present. Then option number two of course is that everyone gets on the naughty list.”

“In that situation, I’ll be giving everyone coal,” he added.

He said giving everyone in the world a lump of coal could be detrimental for his image and public relations, so for now, everyone is on the Nice list.

Despite the poorly timed blunder in the North Pole, the big man wanted to remind people that he is interested in receiving treats.

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“I still adore milk and cookies. Mrs. Clause says I’m supposed to say that I want water and celery – but I do really still want those milk and cookies.”

Santa had a special message for people over the holiday season.

“I want everybody out there to have a nice happy Christmas and happy holiday no matter what you celebrate, it’s the most wonderful time of the year and everyone should be feeling the joy,” he said.

Neither Mrs. Clause nor Rudolph were available for comment at the time of this publication.

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